I’m writing a story about how analyzing your dreams can give you insight into healing, your soul and your True Self.
I dreamed about an outfit last night. I wore it today. It’s retro cowgirl.
I regularly dream about outfits. I wonder what that means about MY soul and true self. Maybe deep down I am just a little girl who likes to play dress up. Or maybe I’m a style genius, waiting to be unleashed. Most likely, it just means I like clothes.
Silly cop, texting is for teenagers
I like to sleep. This often leads to me sleeping in. Which often leads to me getting ready in the car.
Yesterday I was driving to work putting on my mascara — at the stop lights, gosh, seriously people — and I noticed a cop car was in front of me. I pulled my mascara wand out off my lashes and replaced it in the bottle for fear of getting busted for a DUM (driving under the influence of make-up).
Right then, I got a text. I tried to wait, but, the eager person that I am, I couldn’t stand the suspense. So I picked up my phone and quickly checked my message. In the corner of my eye, I noticed the cop car had pulled next to me. Sitting there with mascara in my left hand and my cell phone in my right, I grew nervous as traffic pushed me up closer to the cop’s driver side window.
I cautiously looked over, to see if he was going to bust me. But alas, he did not notice a thing. Because he was too busy. Texting and driving.
Urban Dictionary word of the day: moneymoon
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=moneymoon&defid=1203184
The time after your purchase of a good or service and before ‘buyer’s remorse’ happens.
The moneymoon is over, I realize now that buying that boat was a waste of money.
Here are some highlights from the concert last night.
The standard uniform of a Jovi witness.
Straight OG Bon gear.
The stage action: leather jacket instead of the denim digs of yesteryear.
Yes, that is a long red velvet blazer.
Proof that Bon Jovi is superhuman: no sweat.
That would be an authentic Jovilicious arsch for you.
And a Runaway jacket. Way better than the Pink Ladies.
Standard Jon Bon action: Dramatic hand grasp toward the heavens.
Another standard Jovi-tastic move.
And then, a group crowd high-five. Can it get any better?
If Bon Jovi can wear a vest, why can’t I?
My friends always make fun of my affinity for vests.
And the word vest, in general.
This shirt was the hardest for me to handle. Jon had it unbuttoned so far down, I think I saw his belly button.
As promised in my review, I will be posting photos from the Bon Jovi concert last night. I gotta attack some deadlines first, or my editor’s gonna attack me. …
Check back soon. They’re worth it.
Tease: Jovi butt.
I’m in serious denial that it’s winter.
I am drinking a fruit shake wearing flip-flops with a new pedicure with polish called “Pink Like Summer.”
If you tend to be forgetful or casual with your keychain, here’s a solution: a keychain made out of an old bullet.
I bet you won’t drop them now. Only $7.
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=8083200
Due to the almost-accuracy and raging popularity of our new story analyzing what is in your purse, we have solicited the 50 Cent Shink to do a few more.
Contents: Jump drive, air freshener, coupons (diapers and Arby’s), cell phone that doesn’t work, tape measure, grocery list, Bluetooth.
50 Cent says: “This person is analytic, over-worked and loves to multitask to try and keep up with everything for everybody. They probably work on a global team and have to dial into TCs on a frequent occasion. This person enjoys and also hates technology. This person weighs only 115 pounds, works out regularly and has extremely close family ties. However, she is presently in the process of questioning her sexual orientation but has yet to share this with anyone except one very close female friend.”
My friend Laura says her dog is emo. It looks like she is wearing leg warmers but those are, in fact, bandages. Cute bandages.
Click to enlarge emo dog.
